Four Ways Failing Marriages and Healthy Marriages Look the Same

If a couple in your church was headed for divorce, would anyone be able to see it coming before it was too late?

Chances are less likely than you might think, according to a new study that Focus on the Family sponsored through LifeWay Research. The study found that in the three months leading up to divorce, churchgoing couples in troubled marriages show similar levels of involvement as those in healthy marriages in four areas:

• Attend church once a week or more
• Involvement in a small group
• Serve in community ministries
• Hold positions of responsibility at church

What’s even more astounding is that nearly one-third of churchgoers who divorced never told anyone in their congregation that they were experiencing marital problems.

One week, these couples were sitting together in the pew and attending Sunday school; the next week, their world had crumbled without anyone knowing it was coming.

I believe many of these marriages could have been salvaged if only they’d reached out ahead of time. We’re honored at Focus to be a place that many couples in crisis do turn. According to surveys of our constituents, in the past 12 months alone, Focus’ efforts have contributed to over 130,000 marriages saved.

We have a gifted group of licensed counselors available to help during the week at 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459). And for those who feel their marriage is hanging on by a thread, Focus on the Family’s National Institute of Marriage provides marriage intensives that have an 85 percent success rate at keeping such couples together. I shared a number of encouraging stories from NIM in a post a year ago.

A significant reason we commissioned this study through LifeWay is because we believe the local church is vital in building and strengthening marriages. One way we’re helping churches do just that is through the “Honoring Marriage Event 2016” this coming Valentine’s Day, Sunday, February 14. We’re providing a variety of helpful tools for churches to initiate discussions about the importance of marriage while strengthening and celebrating the married couples in their congregations.

I encourage you to read more about the study from LifeWay to gain a better understanding of the state of marriage in our churches. You’ll find out whether couples view church as a safe place to talk about their challenges, the most common forms of support churches offer to those who are married, and the impact divorce has on local congregations. There’s lots to be encouraged about, and there’s certainly opportunity for churches to invest more in marriages, as well.

I’m curious to hear from you. Why do you think so many churchgoing couples stay silent in their suffering? What can we as the body of believers and our churches do to better support couples experiencing trouble in our own midst?

Topics: Family and Home Tags: faith, family, husband, marriage, wife November 3, 2015 by Jim Daly with Paul Batura