Daly Focus Blog
Most people enter marriage with high expectations. They dream of long walks through the neighborhood every night and long walks along the beach in the summer. Every day will be romantic and exciting.
But somewhere between “I do” and “happily ever after” daily life settles into a predictable routine. And by “predictable” I mean “mundane” – dare I even say “boring.” Before long, discontentment kicks in, and we’re living in what I call the “when’s” and “if only’s” of life.
“What were you thinking?”
If you’re a parent of teenagers, you’ve probably asked that question a few times. I know I have. On more than one occasion, Jean and I have looked at each other and asked the same question about one of our boys: “What is going on in that brain of his?”
Well, according to Dr. Jeramy and Jerusha Clark, our guests on today’s and tomorrow’s broadcasts, there’s an avalanche of change going on.
Last week I blogged about “13 Reasons Why,” the controversial television series from Netflix that, while rated TV-MA, targets the teen demographic.
As you may know, “13 Reasons Why” tells the story of a teen girl who commits suicide and blames others for what happened.
I explained that our parenting team and counselors here at Focus on the Family agreed with the experts who are concerned the show glamorizes suicide and might influence copycat behavior – and that our recommendation to parents is to not allow their kids to watch this series.
You remember Clark Kent. He was a mild-mannered man … until he pulled open his shirt and revealed the superhero outfit underneath that announced his true identity. He was Superman, faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Dads don’t wear a superhero’s outfit under their clothes, but don’t let that fool you. They have true heroic power. Their mere presence can have a dramatic influence in the lives of their children.
No one has children because it’s easy.
Quite the contrary, really. Raising children – especially nowadays – is hard work. That’s probably why parents want to know if they’re doing an acceptable job.
And if we’re being honest, we would admit we want to be doing more than just “OK.” Most of us want to measure up to some sort of perceived ideal. We want to be the perfect parent and have the perfect family.
So we read books by all the “right” experts, and we try to follow a formula, and yes … we might even listen to the Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast.
“We were doing all the right things. We knew each other’s love languages. We went on date nights. We spent time away, just the two of us. We thought we were doing all the right things and yet, infidelity became a part of our story. That’s when we realized it wasn’t a lack of big things that were robbing us of intimacy. It was all the deeper emotions under the surface that went undiscussed that pulled our hearts away from each other one centimeter at a time.”
That’s how Mark and Jill Savage describe their marriage’s slow descent into a dark abyss of infidelity and near-divorce.
The call to forgive others lies at the heart of the Christian message.
But that doesn’t make it easy.
Forgiveness is tough. The human heart is wired for justice. When somebody sins against us, the hurt we feel is a cry for wrongs to be made right again. And when they can’t be, we often want the other person to suffer in some way that will help us feel that the debt has been satisfied. At least, we tell ourselves this is true.
In anticipation of Mother’s Day weekend, I want to share a sweet video with you that celebrates moms:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjWoRd4OMZw
You know, as Christians, we should all be living lives worth emulating, because our lives should reflect Jesus Christ.
But that reality – that others are watching us – is especially true for parents. Our children (yes, including the older ones) watch our every move and even tend to mimic our words and behaviors.
And that’s one reason why I thank the Lord for godly moms.
It’s never been easy to be a mom, but social media is pressuring them in unique ways. Women are inundated with radically different ideas about what it means to be a mom. The image of perfection is everywhere.
But that’s all it is: a picture.
There’s no picture-perfect mom, and that’s a good thing. There’s no such thing as the picture-perfect dad, either. We’re all falling short. God’s grace is what brings us through, not our perfection.
It’s a new series on Netflix that’s causing a lot of controversy – and if you have a teen in your life, you need to know why so many mental health professionals are concerned.
The series is called “13 Reasons Why,” and it tells the story of a 17-year-old girl, Hannah Baker, who commits suicide – and who blames others for what happened. The story unfolds through the cassette tapes Hannah posthumously leaves for the 13 people she blames for her decision to end her life.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
