Jim Daly

Sooner or later, every couple gets bored with their marriage. Once the wedding and honeymoon are over, life settles into a daily routine.  Careers are chased. Children are born. And there’s always a pile of laundry to wash and bills to pay. It’s inevitable that romance will fade.

The question is, what can you do about it? Left unchecked, a mild case of the yawns can become two people living separate lives. Before long, you’re thinking your best years of marriage are behind you.

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Childhood adversity and childhood trauma are different.

Every child faces adversity. It’s part of being human in an imperfect, fallen world. Trauma, on the other hand, is a profoundly distressing experience that impacts a child’s sense of safety, trust, and control.

I experienced a lot of both as a kid. My parents divorced when I was five. My dad was in and out of my life for years afterward until he died addicted to alcohol, broken and alone.

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My wife, Jean, and I took doing devotions with our boys seriously throughout their childhood. Along the way, we discovered that “serious” didn’t have to mean “boring.” We also learned that there was no one “right way” for passing our faith on to our children.

Jean preferred formal times of Scripture reading and devotion. Her degree is in biochemistry, so it fit her personality to whip up a lesson with the creativity and skill of a schoolteacher.

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Marriage is a beautiful gift from God — but that doesn’t mean it’s always easy.

That’s good to remember if you or someone you love will soon be standing at a wedding altar. Most people get married anticipating good times together — laughter, adventure, years of building a family together — but we don’t give much thought to the hard moments to come.

Seasoned couples who are asked what they didn’t anticipate in their marriages often give answers like:

• “I didn’t know we’d have to survive betrayal.”

• “I didn’t know we’d have to rebuild trust.”

• “I didn’t know illness would change our lives.”

• “I didn’t realize how career decisions would uproot our lives.”

Author Leann Murphy has said all of that and more in her nearly 40 years of marriage.

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What dragons do you need to slay?

Author Melanie Shankle says we all have one because life is a journey through difficult situations that teach us to trust God and by His grace grow through adversity. Sometimes dragons rise up out of an unhealthy, toxic childhood.

That was certainly the case for me. My parents divorced when I was five. My dad was in and out of my life for years afterward until he died from alcohol, broken and alone.

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