Daly Focus Blog
“Do I really believe?”
That’s not always such an easy question to answer. We say we believe in all kinds of things – from God and country to values like marriage, family, and justice. But what happens when those beliefs get challenged? Do we stand passively on the sidelines and pretend we believe? Or do we get in the wheelbarrow?
That phrase, “Get in the wheelbarrow,” is a metaphor from the mid-19th century. It sprang up around a man named The Great Blondin.
When I talk to people who believe differently than I do, I often ask myself, “Am I being kind? Or am I just being nice?” There is a difference.
Nice is usually a thin veneer of kindness with nothing of substance underneath. Nice is how you act toward the barista who gets your coffee order right. Or the person waiting patiently next to you in line. Or a family member with whom you’re on good terms.
Before Greta Eskridge had children, she was a high school teacher. She was confronted by the pervasiveness of pornography when she discovered that one of her ninth-grade male students had a sexually explicit photo in his binder.
Greta asked the student not to bring material like that to her class again, and then she explained how objectifying, disrespectful, and demeaning pornography is to women. She still remembers the look of confusion that came over the student’s face.
Words have power. They express profound truth. Or they strip truth of all meaning. Let me give you just two examples.
The first involves a Washington lobbyist who spoke about the Constitution of the United States to a national audience. She described our founding document as quote “that little piece of paper.” You’d think she was referring to a sticky note on the president’s desk instead of one of the most consequential and enduring documents in history.
Technology is making life more and more convenient, but it’s also making the pace of life faster and faster. I don’t believe it’s God’s plan for us to be running full speed all the time. We need rest. Even Jesus took time to rest. He withdrew to quiet places (Matthew 14:13) and communed with His Father.
We should do the same. But how? How do we slow down and enjoy God, our families, and our daily lives more.
I have incredible memories of spending time with my boys when they were growing up – from fun in the backyard to camping trips in Yellowstone National Park. Many of our interactions were meaningful conversations about God, the Bible, and deep issues of life. But a lot of our connections were focused on play.
Playtime is an important time of development and learning for small kids especially. It grows their coordination, their physical and cognitive development, and their problem-solving skills.
Raising boys presents unique challenges for single mothers.
If you’re parenting on your own, one of the most important things you can do is surround yourself with a supportive community. Family. Close friends. Even people you know from work or church. The main thing is don’t go it alone. You need people who will come alongside you when the going gets tough.
You need support, but so does your son. I know you’re working hard to be your son’s source of strength, but he needs a male figure in his life who can set a good example of what it means to be a man.
Many moms and dads are black-and-white in their parenting approach – like a light switch, all one way or all the other. What kids really need, though, is balance – like a dimmer switch, a range of responses that meet your kids at the point of their need.
Take responsibility and affirmation, for example. Some parents flick the switch toward the side of teaching responsibility where the entire focus is on things like being on time, making good grades, or getting chores done.
I’d like to share the opening entry to my marriage devotional The Healthy Marriage Devotional: 365 Daily Inspirations to Bring You Closer Together:
Author Gary Smalley has officiated a lot of weddings. He uses an unique illustration to help couples understand the nature of their relationship.
Midway through the ceremony, he’d gesture to the beautiful flowers adorning the ceremony and say to the couple, “You probably believe the garland, the boutonnieres, and the bridal bouquet represent your love – vibrant and in full bloom.” Then he’d reach into his pocket and hand the bride and groom a packet of seeds.
The people who understand suffering the most all say the same thing: Pain strengthens our character in ways we’d never experience without it.
Like, Helen Keller, who became deaf and blind as a baby. She once said, “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet.”
Christopher Reeve, the actor who played Superman, believed the same thing. At age 43, he was thrown from a horse and paralyzed from the neck down. It took two years for him to believe that life was worth living again and to rediscover new purpose.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
