Daly Focus Blog
Solo parenting is one of the toughest jobs in the world.
I’ve seen firsthand just how tough. I was from a single-parent home. After my parents divorced, my mom took care of five kids. Jean and I have also worked with a young man who lost his wife and has been struggling to raise his kids. It’s been eye-opening to see the world through his eyes as closely as we have over the last few months.
Week ending April 3rd:
Triggers (by Amber Lia & Wendy Speake)
I Am: A 60-Day Journey to Knowing Who You Are Because of Who He Is (by Michele Cushatt)
I’d Like You More If You Were More Like Me (by John Ortberg)
Happy, Happy, Happy (by Phil Robertson)
Gifted Hands: The Ben Carson Story (by Ben Carson)
How We Love (by Milan Yerkovich)
The Freedom from Depression Workbook (by Les Carter)
The Holy Spirit (by Billy Graham)
The Mom Project (by Kathi Lipp)
I Can Only Imagine (by Bart Millard)
Love & Respect (by Emerson Eggerichs)
Blessed, Blessed .
Doesn’t it seem like connecting with your children ought to come naturally? So what do you do when it doesn’t?
Author Kathi Lipp says the “problem” is often a difference in personality. Our children have a unique way of seeing the world. Instead of hindering our relationship, what if their uniqueness became the very foundation upon which a strong connection was built?
Kathi says your child’s personality is a window into his or her soul. Although God doesn’t create children with cookie cutter personalities, there are a lot of commonalities:
Expressive.
Jessie Minassian knows the struggles teenage girls face. Not only is she an author, a speaker, and a blogger who has passion for mentoring young women, she lived through some challenging teen years herself.
Teen girls are trying to figure out who they are in the midst of social pressures, hormone-induced mood swings, and – many times – family dynamics. Even girls (and boys) who love God sometimes have a hard time acting respectfully at home.
“My coach from my senior year could look at me and knight me with his eyes.”
That powerful comment illustrates the hunger of every boy to have a man, particularly a father, draw him into manhood. It comes from Dr. Robert Lewis, who has been associated with Focus on the Family for years. Back in the late 90s, he wrote a book with Focus called “Raising a Modern-Day Knight.” Since then, it’s been our number one best seller.
Here at Focus on the Family we’re joining with believers around the world in remembering Dr. Billy Graham and his amazing life and legacy. I hope you had a chance to listen to today’s special radio program featuring a message from the famed evangelist. He is considered the most important and influential evangelist of our time, and rightly so.
Although Focus is a ministry centered on marriage and parenting, it’s no secret that evangelism is central to everything we do.
Parenting is only for adults.
That’s what Dr. Emerson Eggerichs tells parents who struggle with what he calls the “family crazy cycle.”
It works like this: When children feel unloved, they tend to react in ways that feel disrespectful toward their parents. When parents feel disrespected, they tend to react in ways that feel unloving to the child.
And the cycle starts to spin.
Parenting is only for adults because it’s up to mom and dad – not the child – to stop the crazy cycle.
When my two sons, Trent and Troy, were born, I thought they would be a lot alike. More to the point, I thought Jean and I would be able to raise them the same way.
Boy, was I wrong.
Trent and Troy share a lot of the same interests, but spend an afternoon with each of them, and you’ll find out just how different they are. Trent is thoughtful and super-smart. He may be the smartest one in the whole family.
Dr. Kevin Leman humorously says of children, “We have seen the enemy, and they are small. They’re unionized. The ‘ankle-biter battalion’ is on the move, so you better have a game plan.”
I’m sure many parents would heartily agree with that assessment. To that end, Dr. Leman is with us on our program “Game Plan for Raising Well-Behaved Children” to share a wealth of practical tips that can bring order to the chaos in your home more quickly than you might think possible.
Parents often discipline in terms of behavior modification:
“No backtalk.”
“Say please and thank you.”
“Stop picking on your brother” (with two boys, Jean and I have said that one a lot over the years).
“Put away your backpack.”
Outward behavior is an important part of raising children of character. But it’s only one side of the coin. The other is developing their inner motivation.
The root word of discipline is “disciple.” As disciples of Christ, we follow His teachings outwardly because our hearts are being transformed from within.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
