Daly Focus Blog
Marriage is changing.
There are a lot of reasons for that, not the least of which are cultural forces, political maneuverings, and judicial rulings that have systematically redefined marriage in past years.
There’s also been a shift in the average age for first marriages. More and more young people are staying single for far longer than past generations. Some are choosing not to marry at all, in many cases as a reaction to seeing their own parents divorce.
I know of a couple whose daughter disappeared from home in a fit of rebellion on her 18thbirthday. Her parents were devastated. For years, they didn’t know if she was alive or dead.
Early on, her mother made a simple decision. Every night – all night – she would turn on the porch light. It was an unspoken message to her daughter: “You’re always welcome home.”
Many nights, tears streamed down that mother’s face as she locked the front door, switched on the light, and prayed for her daughter.
A couple of years ago, we shared Dr. Rosaria Butterfield’s dramatic conversion testimony. In the late ‘90s, she was professor of English and queer theory at Syracuse University in New York. She was living proudly as a lesbian and feminist and was an outspoken advocate for LGBTQ rights.
Her turn to faith came about from what she calls “radically ordinary hospitality.” That’s where you open up your home and your life to neighbors, friends, and strangers and intentionally share your faith.
Author Joe Pellegrino discovered it’s never too late to let your children know you love ‘em. When his son Joey was little, Joe taught him to play baseball. As a challenge, he told Joey, “If you hit the ball over my head, I’ll buy you the Lego pirate ship you’ve been wanting.”
As Joe remembers the story, Joey never hit the ball over his head. Joey remembers the day differently. Over the years, those differences in memory occasionally came up.
No one begins a journey expecting a detour or anticipating tragedy along the way.
Author Rachel Wojo sure didn’t. She came from a great home. Her mom and dad were Christians who believed in working hard and in raising their children to love God and each other.
When Rachel struck out on her own, she married a guy who had his sights set on Bible college and serving as a youth pastor. Five years into their marriage, however, she discovered that he had been having an affair for four of them.
A few months ago, I got a chance to visit with Greta Henry. She’s the director of Living Alternatives Pregnancy Resource Center in Champaign, Illinois. She’s also their director of adoptions and oversees their residential program for women called Merci’s Refuge.
She asked me to come and speak at the pregnancy center to almost 1,000 workers and supporters. I was happy for the opportunity to share my heart with people who are so dedicated to standing for life.
Years ago, while working as a camp counselor, author Craig Jutila floated on a canoe to the center of the lake for a few quiet hours alone. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and the water was completely still.
It was after hours, and no other boats were out. So he did the only sensible thing: With an extra life jacket for his pillow, he nestled in for a short nap.
An hour later, he woke up to the voices of strangers.
Imagine your boss asking you to train someone so well that you’d no longer be needed. What would you do? That’s an important question to answer because that’s precisely your role in the life of your child.
As your children grow older, they’ll naturally and progressively seek their own identity apart from you. That path toward independence prepares them for adulthood, but it can be painful for you. It’ll feel like they no longer need you.
Imagine waking up drenched in sweat, your heart pounding, your legs convulsing. The ER doctor reports that your blood pressure is 190 over 170. You’re convinced you’re having a heart attack, but after chest x-rays and an EKG the doctor says there’s nothing physically wrong with you. His diagnosis: “You’re having an anxiety attack.”
That scenario happened to Pastor Louie Giglio back in 2008. He fell into a pit of darkness, depression, fear, and anxiety so disabling that he thought he might never stand in front of another person to proclaim the truth of God or to serve others again.
Comedian Ken Davis was 65 when he told his audience, “These are some of the best years of my life.”
He wasn’t joking.
He’d been a Christian for years, but it wasn’t until he was older that he’d begun living the truth of Philippians 3:10, where Paul says that he desired “to know Christ and the power of His resurrection.” Christians will experience the fullness of Christ after we die, of course, but Paul reminds us that we can also know the power of God’s resurrection in this life!
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
