Daly Focus Blog
Early in their marriage, Dr. John Trent’s wife would get up early and cook him breakfast. One morning, he came into the kitchen and instead of bacon and eggs, he found a book. It was one of John’s textbooks from college.
She said, “Do you remember when you first got this book? You couldn’t wait to read every page. Now you use it as a door stop for your study.” She paused then said, “That’s what our marriage feels like.”
John’s wife had given him a word picture.
Ann and Mike’s counselor told them: “I’ve never seen a marriage in as big a mess as yours that’s ever made it.”
How had things gotten so bad? They had ignored the impact that stress, unforeseen hardships, and frustration with each other had made on their relationship. Over time, the cracks between them had grown wider and wider, to the point that even their counselor held out little hope for reconciliation.
Truth be told, no one knew their marriage was so far gone.
Week ending April 3rd:
Triggers (by Amber Lia & Wendy Speake)
I Am: A 60-Day Journey to Knowing Who You Are Because of Who He Is (by Michele Cushatt)
I’d Like You More If You Were More Like Me (by John Ortberg)
Happy, Happy, Happy (by Phil Robertson)
Gifted Hands: The Ben Carson Story (by Ben Carson)
How We Love (by Milan Yerkovich)
The Freedom from Depression Workbook (by Les Carter)
The Holy Spirit (by Billy Graham)
The Mom Project (by Kathi Lipp)
I Can Only Imagine (by Bart Millard)
Love & Respect (by Emerson Eggerichs)
Blessed, Blessed .
Why did you get married?
For yourself? Or for your spouse?
Be honest. It was for you, wasn’t it?
Don’t feel too guilty about that. The rest of us probably did the same thing. Most of us get married because the relationship makes us happy. We thought marriage to this person would make our lives better.
That’s not entirely selfish. God wants us to enjoy our relationships with our spouses, but He also has a larger purpose in mind.
From growing up dirt poor to becoming reality television superstars, Phil and Kay Robertson, of A&E’s Duck Dynasty, have persevered for more than fifty years together.
It hasn’t always been easy. Their first years together were defined by poverty and alcohol abuse so severe Miss Kay eventually kicked Phil out of the house. Phil says their transformation individually and as a couple was only made possible through repentance.
“We look at the word ‘repent’ as a bad thing,” Phil says.
Are you an avoider?
A pleaser?
How about a chaotic or a vacillator?
Those are four of the five love styles you and your spouse likely see in your marriage. Their various combinations describe the core patterns driving a couple’s interactions and the problems they cause.
Avoiders and pleasers don’t experience much conflict, but for all the wrong reasons. Avoiders don’t like to have honest conversations because they get messy, and pleasers worry their spouse will get mad.
It’s hard to see around an elephant.
They get in the way when you’re trying to connect with people. They keep you from seeing or hearing each other very well. That’s true literally and figuratively.
When there’s an elephant in the room, relationship is hindered because there’s a problem hiding in plain sight that no one is willing to acknowledge, let alone talk about.
It happens in marriages. It happens in families. It happens in business.
Week ending March 6, 2018:
Raising a Modern-Day Knight (by Robert Lewis)
Family: How to Love Yours (and Help Them Like You Back) (by Jessie Minassian)
10 Ways to Say “I Love You” (by Josh McDowell)
Enjoy!: The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women (by Cliff & Joyce Penner)
One More Try (by Gary Chapman)
Raising an Original (by Julie Lyles Carr)
The Married Guy’s Guide to Great Sex (by Cliff & Joyce Penner)
Married But Lonely (by David E.
Mary and Joseph both heard from God about the coming birth of their son, Jesus. But have you ever noticed how differently the Lord communicated that to each of them?
When the angel Gabriel came to Mary to tell her that she would bring the Christ child into the world, Mary asked, “How can this be?” (Luke 1:34, ESV). She wanted to know in what way God’s plans could happen.
Gabriel patiently outlined the full plan: “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you.
What is it that God wants out of our marriages?
Do we think about that? We know what we want out of our marriage, and we know what we expect our spouse to provide us. But what does God want?
Well, much of what God wants for you is wired in to you. A woman’s deepest need is to know that her husband loves her. A man’s deepest need is to know that his wife respects him.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
