Daly Focus Blog
Picture this. You’re nine years old, and your mother just died. Your step-dad has abandoned you, so you’ve been taken to live with a family you’ve never met. You’re desperately hoping the man of the house will become the father you never had, but he’s, well, eccentric. Which is why his first assignment for you when you move into the family home is, “You gotta cut the head off a chicken.”
That bizarre scenario actually happened.
If you could change one thing to improve the world, would you focus on everybody else’s problems? Or would you look in the mirror?
The late philosopher G.K. Chesterton once received a letter from a man who asked, “What is wrong with the world?” The man expected to receive a brilliantly articulated reply. Instead, Chesterton wrote back and said, “Dear, sir. What is wrong with the world? I am.”
Chesterton understood that even if everything else in the world was perfect, he wasn’t.
There’s a lot of talk these days about “toxic masculinity,” that is, what men are not supposed to do.
Author Brant Hansen says that many men – especially many young men – don’t know what they’re supposed to do.
The culture routinely deconstructs, but we rarely construct. Men need a vision for what is distinctly and inherently good about masculinity.
God creates men for a purpose. Every man has a role to fill. Whether you’re healthy or have a disability, wealthy or poor, a student, an accountant, or a mechanic, God is calling you to do something and to be something for Him.
There’s a popular belief among Christians that “God won’t give us more than we can handle.” That phrase is intended to encourage, but it’s not biblical, nor is it true. We can’t handle the pain of life all on our own.
That’s never truer than when discussing trauma.
Most people define trauma in extreme terms, like enduring the battlefield or a school shooting. But we can also experience trauma in everyday life, like facing a serious illness, physical injury, or abuse.
When my boys were growing up, my wife and I often talked to them about their goals. Trent and Troy usually focused on things like grades or what they hoped to achieve in sports. Jean and I supported those ambitions, but we also encouraged them to think outside the box, like considering what they could do to develop their character.
Which got my wife and me thinking about setting goals for our marriage. We began having conversations about our relationship in terms of themes, like forgiveness, grace, or patience.
There are two approaches to parenting:
See your child’s mistakes as problems to fix.Understand the “why” behind your child’s behavior to help your child harness their strengths and channel them in positive directions.
The second of those is a strengths-based parenting approach that encourages parents to move beyond the negative (fixing problems or worrying about how poorly the child’s behavior reflects on the parent) and instead parent from positivity: helping your children discover their God-given talent and become the person He created them to be.
A lot of things in your home are probably fake. And that’s okay. Just don’t let your relationships fall into that category.
Home construction technology has come a long way. In the early 1900s, wood floors made from real trees were standard to home construction. These days, everything from flooring to furniture to back decks are made from composites that only look like real wood. And the fakery doesn’t stop there. We’re surrounded by veneers, synthetics, and man-made stone.
Although Halloween is still ahead of us, Christmas music may already be playing at your local stores. Some say October is too early, but I love it … because, for me, the music of Christmas conveys the message of Christmas.
Christmas is about hope – something we’re all searching for. C.S. Lewis turned Christmas into a powerful metaphor in his classic novel, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. In the story, a little girl named Lucy stumbles into the wintry land of Narnia through a magic wardrobe.
David Ring often says, “I have cerebral palsy. What’s your problem?” In other words, we all face problems of one kind or another. We can choose to be defeated by adversity, or we can live victoriously in Christ.
David developed cerebral palsy after not receiving enough oxygen at birth. Throughout his life, he endured excruciating pain, physical struggles, and constant public humiliation. Orphaned at age 14 when both of his parents died of cancer, David was cast about from family to family with nowhere to call home.
It’s amazing what you can learn about yourself when life gets messy.
My son Troy and I were once on a camping trip, filled with horse rides and hikes through the woods. But one night, just as we were about to hit the sack, I noticed Troy looking a little green. When I asked him how he felt, he said, “Not so good.”
That was just the beginning. Later, at about two in the morning, I awoke to the sound of Trent retching.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
