Daly Focus Blog
I think almost every parent can relate to this scenario:
You give your 6-year-old a clear instruction to follow. But instead of doing what he’s told, he looks at you and, with a straight face asks, “Why?”
Believe it or not, how you respond to that question as a parent is more crucial than you might think.
There was a time in our society when a “Why do I have to?” from a child would get an immediate “Because I said so” from the parent.
Have you ever ridden one of those amusement park rides that spin at dizzying speeds just before the floor drops out? They leave you glued to the wall, holding on for dear life.
Well, if you’ve ever had a teen daughter shock you with the announcement, “I’m pregnant,” I’m guessing you can relate.
You probably felt like your world was spinning, and the floor had dropped out from beneath you.
The shock is understandable.
The question is, how should a parent respond?
September 15, 1963, was a normal Sunday morning in Birmingham, Alabama.
Until 10:22 A.M.
Then everything changed.
Carolyn, a teenager at the time, was making her prescribed rounds through her church, retrieving paperwork from each of the Sunday school classes. On her way up the stairs, she smiled and said good morning to four young girls – Cynthia, Addie, Denise, and Carole – who were headed into the bathroom.
As Carolyn passed the church office, she heard a phone ringing.
Let’s be honest: Parenting isn’t for the weak – especially when you’re raising a strong-willed child.
It’s not fun when a pint-sized little one defiantly refuses to obey or when a 14-year-old talks back. Our natural instincts want to kick in. It’s all too easy to respond in anger.
My wife, Jean, and I know this well. We have two teenage boys, and one of them is a strong-willed child. It’s interesting to look back over the years and see how he’s impacted Jean and me in different ways.
My wife Jean always knows when I’ve taped a broadcast with author and speaker Dr. Gary Chapman.
It’s uncanny. I’ll walk through the door and, inspired by my time with Dr. Chapman, I’ll ask her something like, “What’s one thing I could do to help you today?” And she immediately knows who I’ve spent time with.
And that’s how God uses Dr. Chapman. He’s a relationship expert, and he helps couples create and maintain an emotionally safe environment in their marriages that is conducive to positive growth.
Sometimes life’s pain can be so deep we lose ourselves in a fog of uncertainty and confusion. We struggle to see things that were once crystal clear – things like who God is and who we are in Him.
That was Laurie Sacher’s story. Broken dreams had stripped her of hope, leaving behind heartache and nagging questions about God’s character and His love for her.
But then a dog wandered into her life … literally. It was scraggly, blind, and homeless.
If you want to know how much dads matter in the lives of their children, ask me – I didn’t grow up with a dad.
My biological dad, stepdad and foster dad were all out of my life by the time I turned 13.
It’s tough to go through life with a father who’s either physically or emotionally absent. But don’t take my word for it; just look at the statistics. They’ll show you how things go awry when a dad’s not at home.
We’ve all suffered heartache.
Even if we grew up in a loving home, we were raised by imperfect people who made mistakes, no matter how well-intentioned they may have been. So none of us escapes completely unscathed. It’s the reality of being born into a fallen world.
That’s a truth I know all too well.
I’ve openly shared about my troubled childhood. If you’re not familiar with it, it’s enough to explain that my mother died when I was nine years old.
Have you ever heard marriage advice that seemed too philosophical or theoretical?
Deeper understandings about the mysterious union of a man and woman can certainly be helpful. But every once in a while it’s great to hear something practical, like, “Tonight, go home and try this.”
On today’s and tomorrow’s broadcast, “Uncovering the Secrets to a Happy Marriage,” that’s exactly what we’ll do. Take, for example, this idea from our guest, Shaunti Feldhahn: Keep score.
For most of you, I’m guessing the notion of “keeping score” to improve your marriage sounds counter-intuitive.
What’s your favorite Christmas memory?
Maybe your mind drifts back to childhood when you helped pick out the family Christmas tree. Or you think of that special gift your parents got you even though money was tight. It could even be a warm kitchen on a cold, snowy day as you baked cookies with your grandmother.
As simple as these and other memories may seem, they’re more significant than you might think. Christmas memories help shape our sense of identity.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
