Daly Focus Blog
I tried this little exercise once and found it revealing. Maybe you’d find it helpful as well.
It works like this:
Write down everything you do in a typical week. Among other things, your list might include working at your job, enjoying a hobby, or tinkering with projects around the house.
Next, place a check mark by the items you do out of obligation, and a heart by the activities you do from a sense of passion.
Last month, a Duke University freshman made headlines because she chose to pay for her college education by appearing in adult movies. This young woman defended her decision to become a porn star via an article where she wrote, “I have never felt more empowered or happy… I am in control of my sexuality.” According to this student, it is “how the world should be.” As Christians we obviously disagree this is how things should be – but sadly, her view on sex is how things are for far too many college-aged women.
The New York Times recently ran an article that explored the premise that couples in egalitarian marriages had sex less frequently.
So how is a union defined as “egalitarian?”
According to “Does a More Equal Marriage Mean Less Sex?” it’s where husbands and wives “share the housework and child care, communicate openly and prioritize each other’s careers.”
Researchers found that couples in these types of marriages have sex 1.5 fewer times a month than those who subscribe to more traditional gender roles.
Fred Stoeker was in the fifth grade when he saw his mom try to kill his dad. She stood behind him, scissors raised, ready to stab her husband – a serial adulterer – in the back.
Fred’s dad was also addicted to pornography.
And although Fred swore he’d never treat women the way his own father treated them … he eventually did.
It’s hard to shake free from the clutches of the bad examples you’ve grown up seeing.
If you’re the parent of a toddler, you might feel like you’re too tired and busy to even think about sex with your spouse – and for good reason. Your sleep schedule is off. Work levels around the house are at an all-time high. If all that isn’t enough, there’s still a rambunctious toddler – or toddlers – that needs to be cared for, played with, loved on, and disciplined.
With all that’s going on, it might be tempting for some, especially moms, to view sex as merely another item on a never-ending to-do list.
Most people don’t get married planning to divorce, but the research suggests so much of what they do before they wed sadly leads them to that place.
Part of the reason might be that, as a culture, we’re often more enamored with the wedding than the actual marriage. A colleague of mine once worked in a church office. He regularly encountered heartbroken brides-to-be who made the mistake of booking the reception hall before the sanctuary, only to discover the church was already taken.
The May edition of Reader’s Digest features a breezy article titled “Is Your Marriage Normal or Nuts?”
Don’t answer just yet.
But within the piece is a short list detailing eight lessons from the “World’s Happiest Couples.” I’d like to share them with you and ask if you might add to it:
1. Kindness Helps
74 percent of couples who said they were happy give each other back rubs.
2. It’s Not Necessarily about the Looks
20 percent of the happiest partners say they’re not physically attracted to their spouse.
I appreciated the fun response to yesterday’s post about Valentine’s Day. But I’m also aware that February 14th can be a difficult day for many people.
Every Valentine’s Day the world fairly explodes with flowers, chocolate, and the color pink. If love is abundant in your life, those trappings can be a joyful reminder. But for the lonely it can make for a long, difficult day.
For many people, Valentine ’s Day isn’t a celebration of love and romance at all.
When it comes to the 14th of February, the one thing I don’t want to be referred to is this:
“That guy.”
You know who “That guy” is…
At worst, he’s the guy who forgets about Valentine’s Day altogether, at least until he gets to the office and is reminded when he sees all the red and the flowers and boxes of heart-shaped candy on the desks of his female colleagues.
He’s the guy who waits until 6 PM on Valentine’s night and stops off at the supermarket to try and fulfill his obligation.
Terri Orbuch is a psychologist and research professor at the University of Michigan’s Institute for Social Research. She recently identified some of the top common regrets of divorced couples.
“Divorced individuals who step back and say, ‘This is what I’ve done wrong and this is what I will change,’ have something powerful to teach others,” she recently told the Wall Street Journal.
Here are five things divorced couples regret not having done more of with a few comments of my own:
1.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
