Daly Focus Blog
The secret to winning in a team sport is no secret at all. Teammates have to share a common goal and know how to work together to achieve it. When you wear the same uniform, it’s not about “me,” it’s about “we.”
That commitment to unity is what makes a marriage work, too. But working together as a team isn’t always easy.
Just ask Joshua and Christi Straub. Their teamwork isn’t so great sometimes, either. And that’s saying something.
I still remember when a small airplane crashed across the street from where I lived when I was 14 years old. I heard the crash, then called 911 and ran to the plane. I was able to help two 20-somethings get out of the burning wreckage.
At first, I thought the young men were the only two in the plane. I soon realized two other men had been in the front – the young men’s fathers.
Author Shauna Pilgreen says, “A life of comfort is a win for the enemy. When you’re comfortable, you’re usually leaning on your own strength, which means you’re leaning less on God’s strength.”
Shauna and her husband have learned to rely on God in uncomfortable circumstances, and they’re actively passing that faith on to their children.
It started in earnest when God led the Pilgreens from their cozy suburban life in Missouri to plant a church in San Francisco, where their lives are anything but comfortable.
Dr. David Clarke says most guys are clams. Clams bury themselves in the sand and are quite content to hide there. Guys like to hide relationally. They’re naturally much better at tasks that require strength, confidence, and leadership. Those are key skills in business and sports, but they’re not especially useful when it comes to a relationship with a woman.
Women want closeness – connection, understanding, openness, and intimacy. That’s why when a woman’s husband clams up and hides, she tries to pry him open.
Public speaking. Heights. Spiders. Did you know that these are the top three fears for Americans? Fear is the belief that something has the potential to harm you. It’s rooted in a lack of control.
The word “fear” occurs over 300 times in the Bible. Clearly, fear is something that has gripped mankind since the fall. It takes away our ability to enjoy life’s best moments and our ability to connect with the people closest to us.
Is it really possible for nice people go to Hell?
To answer that question, we have to define the word “nice.”
Picture a spectrum of holiness. Abject evil to one extreme and pure holiness to the other. The Hitlers of the world would be closer to the pure evil side, while people like Mother Teresa would be to the other extreme. The rest of us probably fall somewhere in between and could rightly say, “I’m no saint, but I’m no mass murderer, either.”
With that worldview, our standard of “goodness” is reduced to shades of gray.
Hurdlers don’t usually stumble on the open stretch of track. Victory or defeat is mostly about clearing the obstacles.
It’s the same for marriage. Relationships don’t stumble when everything is calm, and life is rolling along smoothly. Problems tend to develop when couples encounter some kind of stress.
Those moments are an opportunity for husbands and wives to work together as a team.
My wife and I have gone through quite a few transition periods. We’ve faced challenges in our extended families, relocated to new cities, and raised two boys.
“Spirituality wrongly understood or pursued is a major source of human misery and rebellion against God.” – Dallas Willard
Christians use a lot of words like “salvation,” “grace,” and “faith.” How often do we stop and really think about what those words mean?
We’re hungry to the core of our soul for relationship. The degree to which that need goes unfulfilled is the degree to which we will lose ourselves in the pursuit of more. More everything.
At some point, almost every boy will struggle with the feeling that he doesn’t measure up.
My teenage feelings of inadequacy shot to the surface one day while I was in gym class, standing behind a muscular upper-classman named Glen and one of his buddies. They were talking about how guys grow bigger as they get older.
Without warning, Glen wheeled around and – Bam! – he socked me right in the chest. “See this guy?” he said.
The middle of life is supposed to be a great time for men. Their marriages are doing well. Their children have launched, or are ready to go. Their careers are rolling, and the future looks bright.
Or maybe it doesn’t.
Maybe you’ve hit mid-life, and your marriage isn’t what you thought it would be. Maybe your children are struggling to launch. And your career is … sigh … fine.
If your life hasn’t slipped into a comfortable rhythm, we have encouragement for you today on our Focus on the Family Broadcast “Avoiding a Midlife Crisis.”
Mid-life is a transition point, but it doesn’t have to be a crisis.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
