Daly Focus Blog
Marriage is central to what we do here at Focus on the Family.
We believe that marriage is the foundation of the family. We also believe that God’s design for marriage is a relationship where both husband and wife are committed to loving and caring for one another for a lifetime.
The problem is, men and women are selfish creatures, and their selfishness comes out in all kinds of unhealthy ways. One of the most devastating aberrations is an affair.
What’s your favorite song?
The reason it’s your favorite is probably because you enjoy the vocals of the lead singer. But perhaps more than you think about, you also enjoy the song because of a cast of characters who some would say are just as important as the lead: the backing singers.
Their chorus of voices harmonize with the lead and give the song a beauty, richness, and texture the main vocalist could never achieve alone.
Julie and Clay’s first baby was due any time. To celebrate and to enjoy one last date night – at least for a while – Julie planned a romantic dinner at their favorite restaurant.
That evening, Julie arrived before Clay, and waited.
And waited.
He was supposed to come there straight from work, but twenty minutes passed and still no Clay. She called his phone. No answer.
Thirty minutes passed.
Then an hour.
Clay and Julie lost their reservation, and Julie’s expectations for the night were ruined.
“…to love and to cherish, till death do us part.”
A lot of us recited similar vows at our wedding, but no sooner did we walk the gauntlet of flying rice than the word “cherish” began fading from our vocabulary. We didn’t mean for it to happen. The years went by, we settled into our lives, and we woke up one day with a marriage that was missing something deeper, more satisfying.
Visible light is perceived as only one color, but shine it through a prism, and you discover it’s actually a whole rainbow.
Are you a clam or a crowbar?
That’s an analogy Dr. David Clarke uses to help husbands and wives understand how their poor communication skills have landed them in his counseling office.
In almost every marriage, there’s a clam. The percentages suggest it’s usually men, but it can be women, too.
In either case, clams are the ones who don’t naturally talk on an emotionally deep level. They clam up. But every time they do, their spouses break out a crowbar to pry them open.
Today’s broadcast has me thinking a lot about one of my favorite verses in the Bible. It reminds me of how I ought to conduct myself in the name of Christ. In Romans 2:4, Paul tells us that it’s “God’s kindness that leads us to repentance.”
Kindness is a fruit of the Spirit – an expression of God’s nature through us – and one of the most powerful tools for Christians who wish to be the hands and feet of Jesus to the world around them.
Fire can cook you a nice steak, or it can burn your house to the ground. The difference lies in how well you harness its power.
It’s the same with a strong-will. There is a lot of good that comes from having what LeRoy and Kimberly Wagner describe as a “fierce” personality. But a strong-will gone wild can wreak havoc in a person’s life.
Fierce doesn’t have to mean obnoxious, loud, or rude. A fierce woman can be strong and beautiful.
“I gave him everything I could physically and emotionally just to keep him around. He was a need, a necessity.”
Author Danna Gresh says that comment from a college-age young woman is reflective of the curse described in Genesis 3:16: “Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.”
According to Dannah, the curse is like a “violent craving” for many women. It’s not that they want a man, they feel like they need one.
Wives, when you were dating, it was probably easy to see the best in your husband. But at some point after you said, “I do,” did you discover yourself taking him for granted?
It happens. But you can make choices that will get your relationship moving in the right direction more quickly.
I think you’ll be inspired and encouraged toward a stronger marriage with our radio program today, “How to Have a Happier Husband,” featuring a conversation with popular guest Kathi Lipp.
You remember Clark Kent. He was a mild-mannered man … until he pulled open his shirt and revealed the superhero outfit underneath that announced his true identity. He was Superman, faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Dads don’t wear a superhero’s outfit under their clothes, but don’t let that fool you. They have true heroic power. Their mere presence can have a dramatic influence in the lives of their children.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
