Daly Focus Blog
I’ve met a lot of couples who believe the formula for marital happiness is rooted in things like chemistry, fate, or a one-in-a-million shot that you’ll discover your soul mate.
Here’s one that’s mostly overlooked: choice.
That’s right. In the same way that personal happiness is a choice, so, too, is happiness in marriage. It may not always be an easy choice or an obvious choice, but it is something we can choose regardless of whatever obstacles may be working against us.
Men, we’re at war.
I don’t think most guys think of their role as a husband or father in those terms very often. That could be why so many guys succumb to the dangers of pornography and adulterous affairs. The enemy of our soul is ruthlessly plotting the destruction of us and our families … and a lot of us seem oblivious to it.
That’s why author and speaker Dr. Steve Farrar compares a man’s role in his home to point men in military conflict.
Author Arlene Pellicane describes the average mom’s frenzied day like this: “We wake up, and we’re Mary Poppins. ‘Let’s do this thing!’ we say. But by the time we go to bed, we’re Cruella de Vil.”
A lot of moms might describe themselves with words like “busy,” “stressed,” or “tired.”
One word you don’t often hear from moms is “happy.” Maybe that’s because, by and large, mothers have settled into the notion that busyness, work, and falling into bed exhausted are “just the way it is.”
Arlene’s discovery of what a happy mom is began with a personal encounter that illustrated to her what a happy mom isn’t.
What do you think about your marriage?
I don’t mean in vague terms, like, “It’s good,” or “We’ve had better days.” I mean, literally. What are the actual thoughts you have about your marriage?
Do you think of your spouse as someone to nurture and care for – or as someone you have to endure? Do you think of conflict as a battle to win – or as an opportunity for God to draw the two of you closer together?
What should a woman look for in a husband? What should a man look for in a wife?
Marriage is one of the biggest decisions a person can make and, yet, a lot of men and women are unprepared to answer that basic question.
Physical attraction is probably the most common attribute people consider, and it’s not unimportant. But some people never rise beyond that initial connection point. They’re fueled primarily by emotion and sexual attraction.
Did you know there are 41 million native Spanish speakers living in the United States?
That means you probably know someone whose first language – the tongue they understand at a heart level – is Spanish.
It’s because of those 41 million people (and the other 429 million native Spanish speakers around the world) that we carry Spanish-language versions of many of our key marriage and family resources.
Our latest such offering is the six-session, DVD-based curriculum “Luchando por un mejor matrimonio,” based on the popular and effective book “Fight Your Way to a Better Marriage.”
It sounds counter-intuitive, but it’s true: there really can be a purpose to fighting in marriage – if you fight well.
This coming weekend in Richmond, Virginia, upwards of 200,000 NASCAR fans will gather at the Richmond International Raceway for the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series, and millions more will watch on television.
Detailing the event’s “play by play” for FOX Sports will be Darrell Waltrip. I recently had the opportunity to spend some time with Darrell and his wife, Stevie, and I’m excited to welcome them to our program as our guests.
Darrell was one of the most successful drivers on the NASCAR circuit in the 1980s.
People get married for a lot of reasons.
They want someone to spend time with them. They want to feel appreciated. They want someone to love them. They want someone to serve them … at least occasionally (of course, no one likes to admit this one).
Do you notice what each of those ideas has in common? They’re all about what someone else can do for us.
But what if marriage isn’t primarily about any of those things?
You and your spouse could probably easily count any number of ways in which you’re different from one another.
Maybe they talk too much – or not enough. One of you feels hot while the other is shivering cold. Or maybe one can’t leave early because the other is always running late.
Those sorts of dissimilarities are common. But spiritual preferences are a key area where couples often differ.
Many husbands and wives tend to expect more spiritual compatibility from each other than they should.
Dave and Linda’s story is all too common, one that’s repeated again and again across thousands of marriages.
It works like this: They have a disagreement and erupt into conflict. They think they’re angry with each other about the specific issue they’re fighting about, but they’re not. There’s something much deeper at work.
It’s like the time Dave came home from work thirty minutes late. Linda was furious and gave him an earful the second he stepped inside the front door.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
